


you are the smell before rain

by franksdadhaircut



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 13:38:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/franksdadhaircut/pseuds/franksdadhaircut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikey has finally done it, he's slipped once again into the same old depression, and back to the same old therapy sessions. But life is about to change for Mikey, when he meets Pete in the waiting room for his therapy session Mikey finally feels like he's alive again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you are the smell before rain

**Author's Note:**

> the title isnt definite yet but i just wrote this on impulse and there will be more yay

He managed to mess it up again. Everything. He almost had it all.

The high has passed and now he's just jittery and tired (his usual state) and on the verge of ending it all (also his usual state), and Gerard is giving him uncertain looks whilst his Mother sits with her long fingers tucked underneath her chin. No one speaks.

"Who wants coffee!" Mikey's mom suddenly says, standing up tall and business like, she even has a smile on her face and she smiles at Mikey because she knows.

Mikey nods, and Gerard replies to with a "yeah, okay" and their mom strides into the kitchen and the sound of the kettle rumbling fills the dead silence that had been hanging in the air beforehand. And then everything is normal again. Everything's forgotten, but Mikey knows he's going back to therapy.

  
Mikey stands on the edge of a cliff and he knows he's about to spiral out of control, for the hundredth time. He keeps trying to bare it but he knows he's just some messed up kid who had a lucky break and made it out of New Jersey. Just not for long enough. A lifetime wasn't even enough.

Behind him, Gerard's watching him like a hawk. Mikey said he needed fresh air, but no one trusted him anymore. He was being lead around like a little kid, and he bet if his brother really wanted to he would hold Mikey's hand to make sure he doesn't run off. The thought embarrasses him, and he feels younger and more vulnerable than ever.

"Mikey, you okay?" His brother asks, reaching out an arm, probably expecting Mikey to jump.

What do you call it when you want to die, but you're just too tired and anxious to actually kill yourself?

Mikey voices this thought and Gerard falls silent, contemplating. Gerard normally has all the answers, not like Mikey. Mikey didn't even have thoughts half the time. He was like a blank piece of paper.

"I don't know," He finally says, and that's fair enough - Mikey doesn't either.

Mikey doesn't know much.

"I feel like a dead end." Mikey wraps his arms around himself when a cold gust of wind hits him. He wasn't even wearing a jacket. "I'm just stuck here, but I can't even turn back or move forward, and every time I think I'm out, I'm not. I just keep coming back."

"That's why you're gonna go back to your therapy sessions, Mikey." Gerard tries to console him.

Mikey snorts harshly, and stares right back at Gerard, "you should know better than anyone else that therapy never helps."

For the rest of the trip out, Gerard avoids Mikey's eyes.

 

On the first day of therapy Mikey hardly notices anything, he simply waits in the waiting room for his turn and when his name's finally called he slumps out of his seat and into the room. It's a never-ending cycle, but Mikey's too unaware of anything to even notice how tedious it was.

On the 4th day of the 3rd week of therapy (or was it the 3rd day of the 4th week?), Mikey looks up from the floor and scans the room with little interest or awareness. It's not, like, a shock or anything. Just a little "huh" of interest when his eyes lay upon a gittery man with a dumb fringe and full sleeves of dark tattoos that are slightly poorly done and faded, but pretty against natural looking olive coloured skin. This is when Mikey snaps to full attention, and it feels like he's finally  _seeing_ and it feels strange and wonderful and terrifying and confusing all at the same time and Mikey's not sure how to feel.

Mikey doesnt even realise he's staring (even though this is the most attention he's payed to anything since he slipped back into his tired depressant stage) until the man looks right back at him and smiles wide. Mikey recoils a little bit and blinks, caught off guard. The rest of the people waiting are pale and drawn all staring at their feet and chewing their nails or just staring off into the distance with wide eyes, but this guy. This guy is actually on this planet, his eyes are focused and he's gittering but with what looks like... excitement? The prospect of this baffles Mikey, this is new to him, new and scary and absolutely amazing.

He lifts one corner of his mouth awkwardly and his cheeks feel weird and his own body feels weird and foreign to him.

Then suddnely the man does another thing that shocks Mikey - he gets out of his chair and plants his body in the seat next to him.

"Hi!" The stranger almost shouts, like he doesn't have any control of the volume of his voice, but no one else even looks up since everyone here is almost half dead.

Mikey panics silently, contemplating the pros and cons of actually replying, but he can't think or breathe or do anything. This is the anxiety kicking in.

"Don't talk much, huh? I guess I talk way too much, but it's okay if you dont wanna talk to me, y'know, these guys probably just think I'm talking to myself already since we're all just a little bit insane aren't we? It isn't even weird."

Mikey blinks but doesn't reply, and stares at this guy who's just suddenly decided to talk to him. And for what? Inside, Mikey is having a silent panic attack but on the outside he looks as robotic and dumb as ever.

The guy doesn't even seem bothered about the silence that follows. "My name's Pete, what's yours?"

Finally, Mikey's mouth decides to work on it's own, "Mikey," he murmurs.

"Mikey! That's a cool name." Mikey can feel himself blushing and he knows he's just stupid but anything even remotely like a compliment sets Mikey off into being embarrassed and worried that someone's being sarcastic. This is also the anxiety kicking in.

"Pete Wentz!" The doctor calls and Pete stands up and rubs his palms on his denim-clad thighs.

"Well it was nice talking to ya, dude, but this is my call so I'm gonna..." He trails off and points towards to room in which the doctor had re entered after calling Pete's name. He smiles at Mikey one last time and turns around and follows the doctor into the room.

Mikey breathes a sigh of relief when he can finally breathe again.

 

When Gerard asks Mikey about his session, Mikey finally has something different to tell his brother other than "it was okay", and he talks a lot about Pete without stopping and he thinks it's the most words he's uttered since he slipped again. Gerard smiles at Mikey like he knows something he doesn't, but Mikey doesn't care. He actually feels like he's awake again.


End file.
